Let’s talk a little bit about confidence, what are the myths? What are the truths
The first step in developing more confidence is having clarity about these questions:
What does confidence mean to you? If you had all the confidence in the world, how would you know? What would you be doing more/less of?
Self-Confidence Myth #1: “I wasn’t born with confidence.”
Nothing is further from the truth. You weren’t born with the ability to speak, walk, or even read. This all takes time and is a skill set you acquired, but you had the developmental underpinnings to do so. The same is true for building self-confidence. All that you need is guidance and a belief in yourself. It takes a shift in perspective and a new outlook. Everyone has the ability to be self confident.
Self-Confidence Myth #2: “I had a rough childhood or background so I will never be self-confident.”
It is true that trauma resulting from difficult childhood situations can make it challenging to feel more confident as an adult; it’s not impossible. You have likely felt insecure about particular areas of life for many years. However, that does not mean you can’t overcome these negative beliefs about yourself. Keep in mind, I am not discounting the trauma or years of verbal or physical abuse one may have endured. Self-confidence can be achieved in particular areas of your life even with these unfortunate events. Remember, self-confidence is learned. With the right therapy (if needed), willingness to see things differently, focusing on the skills you have and turning the negatives into learning experiences, you absolutely can be self-confident.
Self-Confidence Myth #3: “I am nervous in social situations therefore I’m not self-confident.”
You may appear like you’re not confident in some of these situations, but that does not mean that self-confidence doesn’t exist or is impossible to acquire. Many people feel uncomfortable in these situations. What it shows us is that this is an area that brings up some negative beliefs or anxiety. It takes practice to make a confident first impression and feel comfortable around others.
Self-Confidence Myth #4: “I am not: smart, attractive, thin (fill in the blank) enough.”
Shockingly, self-confidence has nothing to do with your looks or talent; rather it’s how you present yourself to the world and your inner belief system. The only way you overcome this myth about self-confidence is by learning to believe in yourself. You must actively look for the areas that you do excel in or feel comfortable about. Not only will it give you a self-esteem
booster, but it helps develop overall self-esteem.
Don’t Let These Myths About Self-Confidence Derail Your Life. If your self-confidence is dependent on other people’s praise or impacted by negative critiques you picked up throughout life, that’s not really “self” confidence. You have to work with yourself to see that this praise resonates with you. Self confidence is built by having a great relationship with your inner self. Be kind to him or her.
Confidence is not a personality trait; it isn’t fixed and it’s not omnipresent. The TRUTH about confidence is that it’s a skill you can learn.