There are many factors that come into play when determining if your relationship will last. No doubt, virtually everyone enters into a partnership with the best of intentions and long-term plans. However, statistically 1 in every 2 relationships will hit the rocks (50%). This then means (if unfortunately you become a statistic), you won’t know how bitterly you have failed until you walk out of the door, never to return.
There are at least 5 keys that will make your relationship last and stand the test of time. They are namely:
- A High Survival Index
- Shared Objectives
1- Honesty: Honesty is undoubtedly the best policy to live by if you want your relationship to last. It could take various forms, like gentle reminders or straightforward admonitions to your better half. Practicing honesty regularly ensures your relationship is on the straight and narrow. What can make your relationship shockproof against the adverse winds blowing, is knowing you are with someone who not just loves you but is totally plain with you. Can your partner rely on you? Can he or she depend on what you say? Is your word your bond? Can he or she look straight into your eyes and see the unvarnished truth there? If so, you both are in for the long haul. Falsehood and dishonesty are like bacteria to a relationship. It infects it, sours it and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
2- A High Survival Index: Your survival index, is simply a measure of how well both of you can weather the inevitable storms that will come your way. If it is high, then you can survive what is normally not survivable and even the unthinkable or the impossible. If your survival index is low, then the relationship will be shattered which may lead to devastating consequences for both of you. Some possible scenarios in this regard are a partner triumphing over a life-threatening disease, undergoing multiple miscarriages, the loss of children, forgiving your partner for infidelity with all its damning consequences and repercussions, or constant relocation due to career demands that result in dislocation of the family as well as instability in the children’s education. If you both go through the toughest times imaginable and still emerge alive and thriving then you can safely say your relationship was built to last.
3- Shared Objectives: Do you have any shared objectives? Do you have common goals? Is there a major target down the pipeline you both are committed to? If the answers to these questions are yes then your relationship will tend to last. Can you imagine a situation where one partner wants children and the other does not? Or one partner wants a permanent loving committed marriage relationship, while the other is only interested in a “friends with benefits” lifestyle. There is no way you two will continue to stay together. Relationships by their very nature demand and require compromise, sacrifice and concessions. If however, one party sticks to their guns persistently on critical issues with an unbending stance, it will no doubt jeopardize the relationship. For two people to continue to stay together, there are issues that will turn out to be “deal breakers” if both parties do not have a shared perspective. When it comes to those red zones, at the very least, both of you must be facing the same direction or else you might as well bid farewell to each other.
4- Teamwork: The whole point of entering into a partnership with someone in the first place is to have a team member to lean on. Life is meant to be shared, so whether it is enjoying the finer things in life like taking a vacation together or enduring more dreary aspects like pushing that 9 to 5 job to ensure your bills are paid on time, teamwork must be in place. A team member carries their end of the stick, keeps their end of the bargain and provides the support required in times of difficulty and adversity. Teamwork is a major requirement if your relationship is to last.
5- Loyalty: Few qualities in life are as important as loyalty. Loyalty is greatly sought after in all walks of life: from the military to government, from national patriotism to religious organizations, from formal business partnerships to informal family settings, and most of all in loving intimate relationships. It could be anything like standing up for your partner when someone speaks ill of them, or refusing emotional illicit affairs that could entangle and destroy your relationship with your significant other even when seduced or tempted. No matter what happens, as long as both of you are true, steadfast and just with each other you will pull through and your relationship will last
In conclusion, relationships are fragile things that have a life of their own. Just like plants they are living things that must be planted, watered and nurtured to ensure they survive. The 5 keys listed above if practiced honestly, consistently and lovingly will ensure that your relationship lasts and becomes a beacon of hope to others.