1: HOW IMPORTANT DEPENDS ON INDIVIDUAL COUPLES
A lot of studies have proven that good sex life in relationships will help to improve happiness in a relationship. Good sex they say can also help solve communication problems while less sex can make your relationship less stable and increase the likelihood of a breakup
With all these studies on how important sex is in any relationship, I can actually tell you that, frequency of sex that is considered satisfactory truly depends on the individual involved. Some people aren’t interested in sex and they don’t particularly need it to have a good relationship. What’s important is that you and your partner can talk about what each want from your sex lives, acknowledge any discrepancies, and find way to make sure you satisfy each other.
2: DON’T JUDGE YOUR PARTNER WHEN HE/SHE DOES NOT FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX
People have different interest in sex especially when they are going through a particular phase which can be caused by different factors.
These factors includes
*life changes [new baby, mourning, new job, termination of job, etc]
*prescribed drug side effects
Do not judge your partner when she/he does not feel like having sex as its normal not to feel like doing so.
3: SEX TENDS TO DECRESE IN LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS
When relationship starts it tends to involve a lot of sexual energy because it’s new and you’re exploring physical intimacy with someone for the first time. The good bonding we experience when falling in love explain why there’s often a lot of sex early in relationships.
As things wear off, couples settle into more of a regular flow of desire which is usually lower than sex at the initial stage of connection.
4: SEX IS SEXIER WHEN POWER OF NEGOCIATION IS REMOVED
Scorekeeping is not healthy for sex life. When sex is about who’s giving in and how often. It can create a very negative you-verses-me energy around sex. Sex should be about having fun together and making each other feel good. If you feel any negative cycle around sex, talk about it with your partner and work together to find solution
Most times this push and pull of negotiating sex can bring up lot of feelings of rejection especially for partner with higher libido or isolation for lower libido partner.
5 SOMETIMES LESS IS MORE
Sometimes sex can take the back sit in relationship especially when there has been violence between couples, when one or both partner is struggling with heath issue or when there has been sexual trauma experienced by one or both partners.
In some cases partners make an intentional choice to abstain from sexual intimacy for religious or spiritual reasons.
A healthy partnership is one which one or both parties are able to reconnect and reestablish sexual intimacy.