5 Love Languages

What is love?

What is a love language?

What are the 5 love languages?

What is love?

Love is:

An intense feeling of deep affection.

A great interest and pleasure in someone.

A strong feeling of attachment for someone you are attracted to sexually or romantically.

To have someone’s best interest and well-being as a priority in your life.

Intense overwhelming irresistible longing for someone.

To care for another’s happiness, safety and health.

To make yourself open and vulnerable to another.

 What is a love language?

Love is a very sensitive and complicated topic. People have written poems for the object of their love, and wars have even been fought because of spurned love. However an important fact about love most people are unaware of, is that people are to be loved based on their personality types and peculiarities.

This is where the concept of a love language comes in. Just as there are different languages based on ethnic nationalities worldwide, so also exist specific languages of love suited to particular personality types.

 What are the 5 love languages?

There are at least 5 love languages namely:

1-Physical touch

2-Acts of service

3-Quality time

4-Giving gifts

5- Words of affirmation


Have you observed that at least one among several children in a family tends to want frequent hugs from either daddy or mummy? Usually such children want to sit on daddy or mummy’s lap and put their arms around their neck. Even in intimate relationships, one of the 2 partners is more likely to initiate hugs, kisses and sex. These individuals get their “emotional highs” from physical contact with either their significant other, better half, family or close friends. The love language of such people is physical touch. Therefore for such people, distance relationships without physical contact over a long period of time, tend to be detrimental to the health of the relationship. Partners and loved ones of such people would do well to keep their “love tanks” constantly filled by frequent physical touches. Sexual deprivation for these kinds of people will sound a death knell for the relationship. Sex is not just for pleasure, for those fall into this category it is a major critical element in the bonding that takes place between the 2 people.


Picture a scenario like this: hubby comes home after a hard day’s work and finds the apartment all cleaned up, spic and span with everything in place as expected. The kids are bathed, smell nice and look good. Furthermore, the laundry has been done, hubby’s clothes washed and ironed and placed in the wardrobe. The carpet in the living room has been vacuumed and wifey brings his food. Unknown to the wife the husband is brimming up with love. As far as the husband is concerned his wife loves him to the uttermost. This is because for this particular man his specific love language is an act of service.


What is quality time? Quality time is time specifically set aside to cater for a loved one, free from distractions and other calls of duty. Some people interpret love in terms of the amount of time spent in the company of a loved one. People like this would love to spend hours on the beach, in the park, at the zoo, at tourist sites, at the swimming pool, travelling to exotic destinations with their families, loved ones and better half. The individual who has quality time as his or her love language, will believe wholeheartedly that their partner loves them intensely based on the amount of time spent together.


A lot of people love gifts, crave gifts and desire to be given gifts by the object of their love. The faces of people like this light up when their partner lavishes gifts on them. A lover who fails to remember birthday, wedding and special event anniversaries will greatly offend their better half and mortally wound their heart. Failure to bestow gifts on these kinds of individuals, leads to emotional wounds that greatly affect their psyche and significantly degrade their ability to respond or love their significant other. The ignorant partner in this case has no idea how far reaching this is, and the (negative) impact it will have on their relationship. Giving gifts regularly, consistently and lovingly will boost the loved one’s self-esteem, release endorphins (feel good chemicals in the brain) and sustain the love between them.


This is the last major love language classification people fall into. A person like this needs, in fact craves at a very deep level words of affirmation. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with that, it’s just that it is the way they are wired to receive love. Words that encourage, support, and praise are mega boosters for these kinds of people. Their hearts gets uplifted, they smile and are joyful on the inside. People like these (both men and women) positively glow when they are complimented or people speak well of them and to them. Understanding this concept by a lover brings out the very best in them and has even been found to boost their productivity. The converse is the also true. Mean, cutting, spiteful words, words that belittle or denigrate such a person will result in withdrawal, breakdown in communication and generally poison the affection that previously existed between the 2 lovers.

Conclusion:  it is very important and in fact critical to every relationship, that people discover what their partner’s primary love language is. It is then and only then, that they can love them the way they were designed to be loved, and not based on our usual faulty, inaccurate assumptions.