Relationships can be fun and exciting because you get to spend lots of time with your significant other namely your spouse, fiancée, boyfriend or girlfriend. You get to go out a lot, visit places together, spend late nights out, have lunches and dinners together and maybe even travel to exotic places.
Relationships are like flowers; as a matter of fact, a relationship is actually a living thing. If you nurture a flower or plant properly by giving it adequate sunshine, water and all the nutrients needed it blooms and becomes very beautiful.
The same thing happens to a relationship, you have to water it, nurture it and give it all the nutrients required. If you fail to do so, just like a flower it will wither and die. No relationship can ever survive, much less thrive if there is insufficient care.
This is why there are actually “rules” for relationships. These rules may be very informal but they actually set the pace and go a long way to maintain stability in relationships. What are these three (3) rules?
They are the following:
- Don’t lie to me
- Don’t use me
- Don’t take me for granted
Don’t lie to me
First of and foremost don’t lie to the one you claim to love. Constant lying connotes deception and outright dishonesty. This is just a step away from infidelity or cheating. When someone lies consistently to you over almost any and every issue it is a major red flag.
How can someone who claims he or she loves you lie to you habitually? That is not love, it is deception. Imagine having a lover who lies about what they do for a living, lies about his or her family, lies about where they live and lies about who they really are?
The blunt truth is that such a relationship is heading for the rocks and doomed to fail almost from the start. So, ensure you make this rule number one. Don’t lie to me.
Don’t use me
The next question you have to ask yourself is this: am I being used in this relationship? It is sad to say but many people use people in relationships. They claim to love someone but all that matters to them is the benefit they stand to derive from the relationship.
Some people are after money, some people sex, some a child, others prestige associated with the person they say they love, as well as the power or influence the person wields or popularity.
Using someone in a relationship means that person is not truly loved. Little wonder then that such relationships collapse once the benefits or advantages are no longer derived.
Don’t take me for granted
Finally, the third cardinal rule is this: don’t take me for granted. What does it mean to take someone for granted? To take someone for granted means to value someone too lightly, or to fail to properly notice or appreciate someone that should be valued for what they are, what they do and the sacrifices they make for you.
To take someone for granted also means to always assume someone will always be available or present in your life regardless of how badly you treat them. When you fail to appreciate the value or merit of the person you claim to love then you are taking them for granted.
Failure to show gratitude for the benefits that come from the help, efforts or presence of a loved one often leads to complaints, ill feelings and dissatisfaction. Ultimately this will kill the relationship